


The ghost of a hero

by GhostCowboy



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Bird Hybrid Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Wilbur Soot, Goat Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt is Toby Smith | Tubbo's Parent, Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sheep Hybrid Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Thunderstorms, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29837454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostCowboy/pseuds/GhostCowboy
Summary: Tommy is killed by dream while locked in prison. Sam has to explain to everybody how the poor boy died meanwhile tommy is trying to figure out why he is back on earth. The last thing he remembers is death, the white void and his brother calling his name. He cant remember anything good, black tears staining his cheeks as the SMP helps the lost ghost revive himself past being a bodiless soul.
Kudos: 193





	1. A hero's end

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted work and I would love to hear any criticism or ideas you might have!  
> Enjoy!  
> -Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy hears a familiar voice in death before consciousness is ripped from him. Sam has to find a way to break the news to everybody on the SMP.

Tommy panicked, his hands flying up to scratch helplessly as Dreams fingers wrapped around his throat.  
“D-Dre-”  
The hands tightened and Tommy felt his lungs screaming for air.  
Hope fluttered in his chest as the man pulled a hand away, but the cell rang with cries of pain as a closed fist was brought down on Tommy's face. His head cracked against the obsidian, everything starting to distort around him.  
“You mean nothing to anybody Tommy. They've all moved on from you. You aren't needed.”  
The hand went slack as Tommy slumped to the floor, ears ringing and pain swallowing any thoughts that raced in his mind. Dreams words were the only thing he could focus on, the blonde man squatting in front of him and grabbing his chin.  
“I'm a god Tommy. You played a good hero, gave me quite the trouble. But in the end, you've always been mine. I've killed you twice already. You wasted your life on that broken country, on a broken family. Wilbur didn't want you. You were his soldier. Techno and Phil left you and destroyed the very nation you had died for. How pathetic. You got attached to the people who didn't love you back.”  
Dreams fist collided with Tommy's nose, a sickening crunch echoing throughout the room and the dull repetitive thud of Tommy's head against the wall.  
“T-tubbo-”  
A hideous cackle rattled Tommy's brain, Dream leaning back with laughter.  
“Tubbo doesn't love you!”  
Dreams mask was cracked down the side, showing Tommy a glimpse of his toothy smile that laid underneath.  
“Tubbo sent you to exile! Tubbo sent you to me! He doesn't care! He only ever saw you as a burden Tommy! I was your only friend-”  
Dream leaned in close,  
“And now you will die with me, and die knowing you are alone.”  
Tommy watched as dreams fist was reared back, the boy unable to move, unable to protect himself as the final fist came down,  
And his world collapsed around him.

-

Sam was sprinting through the prison, breath panicked and short.  
He was in the towers, but the familiar screams of a blonde boy calling for help made his heart race.  
Dream wouldn't hurt Tommy, right? He needed him, he couldn't kill him until he was out of this prison.  
But as Sam flicked the lever nearest the cell, hushed yells could be heard, almost like the voices were right next to each other.  
Sam stood in the middle of the entrance, the lava lighting up his greened cheeks, and just as the molten liquid dropped past his view, he heard a sickening crunch.  
And laughter.  
A wheezing laugh that was easy to place,  
“Dream!”  
Sam pulled out his control, forcing the blocked to skip across the lava as they had done for so many visitors before. Sam sent the blocks back, and then allowed the wall to slip into the floor, laying flush with the ground.  
Nothing could have prepared him for what Dream was sitting across from, laughing frantically as he leaned back from the boy.  
Tommy lay motionless.  
His eyes were bulging out, blood running over the glossy surface.  
His familiar bright blue eyes were dull and grey, rolled only slightly into his head.  
And his face, bruised and beaten. Teeth lay in the boy's lap, neck stained purple with what Sam assumed to have been dreams hands.  
“He’s dead. You- you killed him.”  
Sam threw himself at dream, bringing his netherite gloved hands down on the laughing blonde  
“You fucking bastard! You killed him!”  
Dream stopped laughing, his mask skewering the side of the cell, scarred face still lit up with a wide smile.  
“You left him in here with me Sam! You knew what would happen!”  
Sam shut his eyes, his fists aching as he leaned back from the bloodied face of the speedrunner.  
“You're a monster.”  
Dream chuckled at that, watching Sam with attentive eyes as the greenette picked up Tommy's body. He held an arm under his legs and around the boy's shoulders. It almost looked like he was resting, head tucked close to Sam's chest.  
Sam used his remote to bring back up the wall, blocks inching back to the cell as Sam stepped onto them.  
“You are going to rot in this prison Dream. I swear on my life that you will never be free.”  
Dreams' smiles faltered as the familiar click of droppers echoed throughout the cell, lava rushing back down to block Dreams' view on the warden.  
Sam carried Tommy’s body out of the prison, making the long walk to the heart of the server.  
He laid Tommy's body outside of his home.  
The boy's skin started to become transparent, particles floating into the air as Tommy's body finally lost its last life.  
No more respawns,  
No more chances.  
This was the end, the world had no need to keep a body with no soul attached.  
The cloud grew dark and crowded the skies.  
Thunderous roars followed by flashes of lightning lit up the Wardens face.  
Tears rolled down his cheek as he stared at the familiar red bandana that was left in the place of Tommy's body.

-

Tommy shot upright, expecting to be in tremendous amounts of pain but instead he was met with a blank landscape.  
It was all white,  
And annoyingly harsh on the eyes, Tommy scowled.  
“Hello?”  
Tommy wiped his head, looking at his fingers with panic.  
They were stained scarlet.  
“Help! I'm hurt!”  
Tommy couldn't see anybody, it was so bright and he was so scared.  
But two familiar voices cried out, Tommy’s head spinning at just the sounds  
“Toms!?”  
“Kid?”  
But just as a familiar brunette rushed out of the foggy white, a shorter man with horns following in tow he felt the ground collide once more with his head as his soul was rushed away from the white plain.

-

Sam had waited for the storm to pass, standing silently inside of Tommy's house with the red bandana clutched tightly between his fingers.  
The rain stopped sometime during the night, Sam falling asleep by Tommy's door.  
The light woke him, standing with a heart wrenching sigh as he opened and closed the oak doors.  
Jack Manifold was walking towards the house, eyes looking up to see a tired looking hunched over Sam standing in his way.  
“Oh hey Sam, something i can do for you? I've got to get back to the hotel so if it isn't urgent-”  
“Tommy is dead.”  
Jack froze  
“W-What?”  
“There was a breach in the Prisons security. I- I've been searching for the cause of explosion for a week and I have not been able to find anything. But… but during this time Tommy was locked in the prison with Dream. I- I was supposed to let him out yesterday but I didn't want to risk the prisoner escaping as I still don't know where the explosions even happened. But I heard yells and I ran to Dreams cell and he had killed Tommy. He fucking beat the boy up with his fists.”  
Jack hid his smile, this was perfect. He could take over the hotel without worry! He didn't have to work with Niki to try and kill the boy!  
“Oh… um… I'm so sorry Sam but I really should be getting back.”  
Sam looked up, inverted eyes teary as he just nodded and looked back down. They started walking past each other when Sam spoke up once more  
“Um, Jack. Don't tell SamNook about Tommy. I don't know how he would react.”  
Jack nodded nervously before turning back to the road leading to the hotel.  
As he walked a pit grew deep in his stomach.  
Tommy died alone, with Dream.  
Even after everything that happened? Did Tommy deserve such a fate?  
Jack looked up, surprised to see he was so lost in thought he was already arriving at the Hotel.  
A little green racoon hybrid stood outside the main doors, smiling wide as he flicked an ear.  
"Good morning jack Manifold! Tommy is going to be very excited about the amount of customers lately!"  
Jack flinched, nodding with a forced smile as he walked past the little thing and into the building.  
Why was this causing him so much sadness? He was going to kill the boy, so why is it that his death is painful?  
Even after it all though, Tommy had done good. He had brought joy and attachment to the server. The blonde was always running around keeping everybody busy- hell, he was the reason Jack became so close with Niki.  
Nobody deserves the death Tommy got.  
And Jack wasn't so sure anymore,  
that Tommy deserved to die in the first place.


	2. The Inbetween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Sam tells Eret and Fundy about his death, Tommy is stuck in between life and death, and memories of his childhood resurface to pass the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo  
> I casually really like this chapter and I would've made it longer if it wasn't one in the morning on a school night

Sam was walking aimlessly, trying to find the next smp member to tell about Tommy.  
Jack had surely already told Niki, and Puffy had already been seen storming towards the ashes of the home she had built for dream. Niki must have told her.  
Fundy was with Eret, the parent and son sitting on the old docks.  
The fox hybrids ear twitched as he heard Sam step onto the wooden frames, water lapping at the support beams.  
“Sam! Why are you all the way out here?”  
Sam sat behind the two, refusing to meet their eyes as he gazed off into the deep blue waves.  
Eret had turned all the way around, pushing back her crown with a contented sigh.  
“Something we could help you with? Although if it's supplies you need I don't think anybody has more than you.”  
They chuckled softly, taking note with attentive eyes at Sam's posture. The creeper hybrid was slumped, shoulders pointed in.  
“Tommy is dead.”  
Two shuddering gasps echoed across from Sam, making the greenette wince.  
“What happened! He was only just visiting Dream!”  
Eret’s voice was frantic, but Fundy sat still. Sam took a deep breath, and explained what happened. How he had told Tommy it shouldn't take much longer, how he heard the screams and sobs of Tommy as Dream finally broke the poor boy.  
Silence fell between the three, White eyes staring past his glasses at Sam. Fundy's tail lashed, ears pinned to his spiked up hair.  
“You kill him.”  
“Fundy!”  
Eret's voice scolded his adopted son without a second's notice, Fundy shooting his parents a furious gaze. His pupils were slits, making him look like a cat about to attack.  
The fox turned back to Sam, sitting up straighter than he was before.  
“You knowingly left Dream and Tommy together, even though dream has a history with, oh I don't know, being a fucking psychopath?”  
Sam felt hot tears well in his eyes. Fundy was telling the truth. He knew what a monster dream was, he knew what he was capable of. How the green eyed man had tormented Tommy and the other children of the world for months. How he held the discs above Tommy's head as trophies, toying with the boy with that same sadistic smile always smeared across his face.  
Sam was to blame, he already knew that.  
But hearing others think the same of him, think of him as no better than the speed runner who murdered an innocent boy. A boy who was thought to be the hero of the story.  
“I- i have to go. I'm sorry Fundy.”  
The creeper hybrid stood, looking up for only a moment to see white eyes and a furious gaze meet him.  
Sam turned, walking away from them.  
Would everybody see him as this… murderer? As the villain who trapped Tommy in there to begin with?   
How was he going to tell the ones who were even closer to Tommy?  
How was he going to tell TechnoBlade and Philza?  
Tubbo?  
Sam wiped his cheeks,  
He deserves to be hated.

-

Tommy was in between life and death.  
Wilbur wasn't there, but he also wasn't with Dream in the prison anymore.  
He couldn't speak, couldn't breath.  
But his lungs didn't scream for air as they had when Dreams fingers wrapped around his throat.  
This place was cold  
Empty  
Tommy couldn't feel his body, couldn't look around as everything was black.  
He was getting sick and tired of this monochromatic bullshit.  
What now?  
His mind could still think,  
Still registered that he was obviously lost somewhere other than the afterlife.  
He didn't like being alone here.   
This place felt small and made his brain cluttered with anxiety.  
Tommy tried to focus, focus on moving or getting out of this shitty darkness.  
But how is he supposed to move without a body?  
Was he a lost soul?  
He remembered Phil telling him and his brother about lost souls way back when they lived in the forest and fought with wooden swords and playful banter.  
He missed back then.  
When Schlatt would drop Tubbo off for weeks and Tommy and him would play for hours before falling asleep outside and being carried to bed by Phil and Wilbur.   
Memories filled his mind as he drifted through the darkness.  
After all, there wasn't much to do when your in between life and death in an eternal plain of nothingness.

-

“Take that! And that! I'm kicking your ass bigman!”  
“Language Tommy!”  
Tommy snickered as he swung his sword with uneven steps towards Techno.  
The brunette smiled, his tusks peeking out past his lip as he easily allowed his six year old brother to hit him.  
They had been at it for hours, Tommy too stubborn to give up training even after techno had to sub in for wilbur as the oldest collapsed to the ground with exhaustion. For only being six years younger than them, Tommy held easily the most energy.  
Phil watched from the porch, rolling his eyes as his youngest cussed out Techno once more  
“Tommy!”  
Techno felt the wooden blade hit his stomach with a dull thud, the piglin hybrid falling with an exaggerated groan of pain. He writhed on the dirt, crying out in faked pain.  
“You've killed me!”  
Tommy's eyes filled with panic as he dropped his sword and rushed to his brother's side.  
“Techno! Get up! I don't want you dead!”  
Techno groaned, reaching upwards just like an actor in a play.  
“This is the end Theseus, I've met my doom.”  
Tommy felt his cheeks grow red, tears welling in the child's eyes.  
“Tech-”  
The boy hiccupped between his words, panic smeared across his face  
“Please! I'm sorry!”  
Techno fell limp, closing his eyes and letting his arm fall to the ground beside him. Everything was quiet for what seemed like forever, and then in a moment sobs screamed above Techno's limp figure.  
“He's dead! I killed tech!”  
Wilbur sat up from where he was reading, rolling his eyes as techno frantically sat up.  
“Toms! Tommy! I'm okay! See! I was just kidding!”  
Tommy's eyes were screwed shut, snot running down his face. His cried were ear piercing, Phil standing up and walking down the porch steps.  
“Tommy, its okay. He was just playing a trick on you.”  
The avian squatted down, patting his youngest's back as his cries quieted down to only hiccups.  
Wilbur stood and made his way to his twins side, Techno looking up at him with a   
I didn't mean it!  
Face. Wilbur rolled his eyes and swooped Tommy into the air, the boy looking at Wilbur with tear stained cheeks.  
“Techno is mean for tricking you, why don't we get him back for it, hmm?”  
Tommy's eyes lit up, wiping his face on his sleeve before settling onto Wilbur's back in a piggyback style.  
“Ready Toms?”  
Tommy smiled  
“Ready!”  
Wilbur started making plane sounds, chasing after Techno who had finally calmed himself down and was now running from the two.  
Laughter filled the clearing as Phil watched the boys play.  
His wings stretched out behind him as he shook them out, smiling big as he shot after his kids.  
“I'm gonna get you all!”  
Tommy squealed in excitement, making Wilbur put him down so he could run alongside his brothers.

-

How long had he been here?  
There was still nothing, no voices or feelings.  
He just wanted to go home.   
He missed home.


	3. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam accidently runs into Tubbo and Ranboo a bit sooner than he would've wanted. I mean, how is he supposed to tell the boy he had let his best friend be murdered by the very man they had fought against their entire lives?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dumb long for no reason so I hope you all enjoy the extra angst I provided B)

Light seeped in through Tubbo’s window, the goat hybrid yawning as he sat up. He three his legs over the side of the bed. He had taken time off from building the hotel with his husband to spend time with Michael.   
He stretched big, his tail wagging with the effort as he flicked his ear and stood. It was early morning, squealing being heard from the other room and Tubbo quickly walked through his open door and into the nursery. He reached into the crib, pulling the piglin baby out with rehearsed ease. Ranboo was still asleep, Tubbo peeking his head into the other boys room before laughing at the enderman hybrid who was sprawled out with his arm hanging off the bed.  
Tubbo set Michael down in their living room, opening the fridge while happily humming a song.  
It was still early but Ranboo was awake now, the platonic husbands laughing between themselves as they ate.  
“I’m going to head to the mainland later today if you want to come? Jack said he would watch Michael, he seemed pretty upset about something but he kept shrugging me off.”  
Tubbo furrowed his brows at his husband's words.  
“He didn't tell you anything? That's weird.”  
Ranboo nodded, his dual toned hair falling in front of his eyes.   
“Niki and Puffy were on about something too. I think it must've been a mainland thing? I'm not really sure.”  
Tubbo flicked his goat ear in response, not caring much for talk about his old home. Ranboo picked at his fingers nervously, not meaning to make his husband upset.  
“I'm sorry Tubbo, I'm sure it's nothing important.”  
The goat hybrid sighed, standing up to clean up his and Ranboo’s dishes.  
“I haven't seen the L'manburg crater in a while, it would do me some good to get out of the snow for once don't you think? I wanted to see how the Big Innit hotel was doing as well.”  
Tubbo placed the dishes into the sink, Picking up Michael from the toys the piglin was playing with and putting a jacket and hat onto him.  
His ears folded in on his cheeks as the hat pushed them down.  
“I'm off to Jack’s then? Meet me by the bridge and we can walk over.”  
Tubbo put on his own fur lined jacket and closed the door behind him.

-

Sam was walking circles around the mainland, unsure how to approach Tubbo about Tommy's death. He was never close to the goat hybrid, honestly he wasn't close to anybody but Tommy Puffy and… Dream…  
The creeper hybrid sighed while pulling his gasmask down around his neck.  
Tubbo was in Snow Chester with Ranboo and Jack? Maybe a few others but Sam wasn't too sure. He knew nobody would have the heart to tell Tubbo so there's no way the boy knew yet.  
But as Sam reached the bridge that would lead to Tubbo's land, the familiar brown hair followed by a lanky black and white enderman hybrid came into view.  
Shit shit shit shit shit  
Sam was panicking,  
He thought he would have time to figure out what to say on his long walk to Tubbo's home,  
Maybe even wait another day to prepare himself for the conversation at hand.  
What would he tell them?  
Tommy was dead  
Because of him  
Because of protocol and a still unknown outsider who set off an explosive outside the prison.  
Because of his own idiocy he left a child in a cell with his tormenter  
With a murderer  
A psychopath  
A fucking monster-  
“You alright Sam? You look pale.”  
The creeper hybrid whipped his head up, eyes wide with panic  
Had he really been so caught up in his own head that he forgot to run away from them!  
What now?  
He can't just spit out how he left this boy's best friend to sit in a prison cell for over a week and then ignored his calls for release on the very same day he was murdered  
He-  
“Sam.”  
Inverted eyes met concerned green ones  
“Do we need to call Ponk? You really don't look okay-”  
“I'm fine.”  
Sam composed himself outwardly, feeling the continuous panic fill his brain as he tried to straighten himself.  
“No- I mean, I'm okay, I don't need Ponk. I actually wanted to talk to you both.”  
Tubbo looked to Ranboo, a shared glance of confusion between the two,  
“Um yeah, that's no problem, we're right here.”  
“I think you'll need to sit down for this actually, why not come to my house for tea?”  
Ranboo stepped forward grabbing onto his husbands shoulder  
“We have to get back to Michael so we can stay very long-”  
“It's important.”  
The two threw concerned looks to Sam, the creeper hybrid turning away as the three started walking away from the bridge.  
Tubbo and Ranboo followed close behind, hearing Sam mumble frantically to himself too quietly to make out.  
They were very obviously concerned for the creeper hybrid, looking to each other and sharing their confusion without any words.  
The walk was in the opposite way of the main town, into a simple oak biome and miles out. The walk was made short through the nether portal travel but it was still an inconvenience to the platonic pair.  
They finally stopped in front of this flat sided mountain, Tubbo and Ranboo at this point thinking that Sam had gone mad before the mountain wall fell and opened up to the biggest home they had ever seen.  
It was gorgeous, filled with automatic machines and storage units that held immense amounts of materials.  
If they weren't so worried about the incoming conversation, Tubbo and Ranboo could have stood there in awe.  
“Come in so I can shut the door, and have a seat in the dining room over there.”  
The enderman and goat hybrid walked into the opened room that held a small kitchen and a beautifully hand crafted table with a matching set of chairs.  
The two sat down, still looking around the room with fascination.  
Sam sat across from them, something darker shown in his eyes. His gas mask was back on, almost comforting as he finally confirmed his thoughts and spoke  
“Tommy was visiting Dream nine days ago, he didn't say much about why he was seeing the prisoner but as you know Tommy is always clear with his intentions so it wasn't hard to figure it out. He was there for a type of closure I suppose, to rid himself of Dream for good.”  
Tubbo was confused, this was all fine and dandy but why is it so important to sit them all down miles away from the place they were meant to be going?  
“Sam I know you and Tommy were close or something of the sorts but I don't see why you're telling us this exactly? Just because I haven't spoken to him in a while doesn't mean I need to be updated on what is happening to him everyday. And this seems a bit private don't you think?”  
Ranboo nodded, looking down at the shorter goat hybrid and then to Sam,  
“I'm not sure Tommy would be very happy about you sharing his motives to us, he's always been the type to want to be seen as strong…”  
Sam’s breath caught in his throat, his eyes filling with tears as he looked down at the carefully carved table edge.  
“Just… just listen. While Tommy was in the cell, an unknown explosive went off. I- I couldn't find the source or a suspect or any damage but knowing that somebody had set it off was enough for me to put the prison on lockdown. In the prisons contracts it says the warden is allowed to keep prisoners up to a week in the cell if there was ever a breach in safety, so that's what I did.”  
Tubbos nose scrunched up angrily, his ears pinning backwards  
“You what?”  
Ranboo tried to reach Tubbo with a calming hand, feeling just as angry with Sam as his husband.  
But Tubbo dug his fingernails into his palm as he bore holes into Sam's head, the creeper hybrid still unable to look up.  
“Do you know what me and Tommy went through with that green bastard? Do you know how much pain, physical and mental Dream put up through? Tommy had to give up his discs to save me, he thought that Dream was going to kill me in the underground disc room you dickhead. He won't even let me go near him because he's scared he wouldn't be able to protect me from Dream. So after everything! You lock him in with Dream?”  
Sam knew he deserved to be yelled at, but he continued anyways,  
Tubbo needed to know  
They both did  
“On the last day, day seven. Tommy wanted me to let me out, but I still haven't found the source of the explosion and thought it would be safer to keep him in there. To not risk Dream escaping. I was wrong.  
I had walked away… looking for more information, continuing my search and going over each piece of code of the prison for any flaw.  
But I heard screams,   
And laughter  
And by the time I had made it to the cell,   
Tommy was…  
Tommy is…”  
“Shut up.”  
Sam looked up to tear stained cheeks from both boys, Tubbo’s face was empty, his eyes held no color as he seemed to look past Sam.  
But Ranboo,  
His nose was scrunched up as his eyebrows furrowed in rage.  
“You left Tommy to die? That's what you did? For the benefit of yourself, to cover your own ass! You left him! You could've done something! You could've-”  
Tubbo grabbed his husband's sleeve, pulling on it without any trace of fight. The goat hybrid stood shakily, Ranboo quick to his side to help him steady.  
They walked out of the room opening the main door as Sam frantically followed them to the nether portal, calling apologies and sobbing heavily.  
“I know what I did was wrong! I killed Tommy! It's all my fault and I made a mistake as warden! I failed him!”  
Ranboo agreed with Sam, spitting a single   
“You did.”  
Sam grabbed Tubbos wrist, the goat hybrid looking up with glossy eyes and fat tears rolling down his cheeks  
“Be angry with me, shout at me, kill me Tubbo please. I deserve to be beaten just as Tommy was. I deserve worse.. I- …. I… “  
Ranboo delicately spoke to Tubbo, asking the boy to step into the nether portal.  
Tubbo followed without a word, hiccups between his silent tears the only sound heard between the three.  
“Goodbye Sam. Don't ever come to Snow Chester, we don't want you near us ever again.”  
Ranboo’s words drove a stake through Sam's heart.  
He wasn't wanted anywhere anymore.  
He was no better than the man locked so tightly in his prison,  
No better than the murderer himself.

-

Tommy was fucking exhausted,  
All he had been staring at was black. The lack of anything.  
If this is what the end looked like Tommy was really wishing he had lived a little longer.  
He couldn't sleep, couldn't look at anything, couldn't breath.  
He was at a loss

“Kill me Tubbo, please…!”

Tommy became fully alert of the words that echoed in the nothingness  
He wanted to scream  
Wanted to call out to the only voice he had heard in what seemed like weeks of nothing

Sam  
It was Sam!

Surely if he was dead he wouldn't be hearing the living talking right?

If he went towards the voices,  
If he could just reach the pleads that called to his best friend  
Maybe he could make it out of this shitty place


	4. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo struggles with Tommy's death as Tommy struggles to figure out why he was back in a place that held nothing but hatred and pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning!!  
> Panic attack described in this chapter!  
> It starts with the phrase  
> "Tubbo fell against the door, tears trailing down his cheeks as he ground his teeth together."  
> and ends at   
> "He fell to the side, head finally going quiet as unconsciousness consumed him."  
> Enjoy the angst!

Tubbo couldn't hear anything his husband had been saying on the walk back to Snow Chester. His ears were ringing as silent sobs racked his chest.  
Tommy was dead.  
After everything they had been through together, after fighting Dream for their entire lives, running and protecting a nation they had died countless times for.  
Tommy died,   
Alone  
With the one person he hated the most.  
“Tubbo?”  
Tubbo finally looked up, eyes blurry as he wiped his cheeks on his sleeves,  
“Do you want to go to Home?”  
Tubbo stared at Ranboo silently, then sighed deep and nodded. The goat hybrid turned his head back forward, the bridge to Snow Chester just out of view from the boys.  
The walk across the bridge was quiet, the water lapping at the pillars edges with calm repetition.  
“Tubbo I- I'm really sorry…”  
Tubbo didn't answer, Ranboo unsure if the boy had even heard him. The enderman hybrid was slouched over, casting concerned glances towards his husband as he finally turned his head to look at the outline of the prison, the clouds condensing around the monstrous building as it stuck out from the horizon.   
Snow finally crunched underfoot, Tubbo shivering as he remembered his coat lay hung on the back of Sam’s chair still.  
He wasn't sure if he would ever retrieve it.  
“Will you get Michael?”  
Ranboo cringed at his husbands voice, quiet and shaky. Nothing like it normally was.  
“Yes of course, I'll meet you home.”  
The two split ways, Ranboo picking up his pace as he rushed to Jacks house to pick up their adopted son.  
Tubbo on the other hand opened the door to their home, closing it softly and staring at the wood.  
The familiar laughter of his blonde best friend echoed throughout his head.

-

“You're so clingy Tubbo!”  
“I'm clingy!? What would that make you then!”  
Tubbo elbowed his friend, Tommy having a mocked face of offence.  
“I am not clingy!”  
Tubbo flicked his ear, smiling slyly.  
“Really? What about when I told you about Ranboo and I becoming friends and you stormed to his house and told him off for trying to ‘take your place’? Or when Wilbur would yell at me in Pogtopia? You didn't think twice before biting his head off and screaming at him! Even Techno was caught off guard!”  
Tommy's face grew red, the boy looking away from the goat hybrid  
“I'm not clingy, dickhead.”  
Tubbo nodded  
“Sureee…”  
Tommy placed a hand on Tubbo's shoulder, pulling him into his side and ruffling his hair roughly. Tubbo struggled to push Tommy's arm away from him as laughs filled the air.

-  
Tubbo fell against the door, tears trailing down his cheeks as he ground his teeth together.  
“Tommy please-”  
He sobbed out, gasping for air and grabbing a fist full of his t-shirt  
He couldn't breath, couldn't see straight  
Was this death?  
His chest tightened, mouth wide open as he heaved for any amount of air to reach his lungs as they screamed in panic.  
His head was swirling with memories of the blonde, of his best friend.  
Tubbo was choking on his sobs, unable to see through the tears anymore.  
He felt bile rise in his throat, head becoming utterly too loud to deal with.  
The wooden floor grew closer as Tubbo dug his nails into the door frame to keep himself steady.  
He fell to the side, mind falling silent as unconsciousness consumed him.

-

Tommy struggled to move, but he was determined and everybody knows he would find a way when he is determined.  
Memories filled his head. Memories of his home, of his friends, his enemies, His life.  
He wouldn't give up on it  
He missed Tubbo, missed Sam and Techno. Missed his family, missed Ghostbur and Phil  
He will see them  
As he pushed his soul towards the sounds of his home  
The crash of waves against the prison walls  
The bubbling of lava  
The clicking of redstone  
A familiar laughter filled his head  
And in a moment, determination turned into fear  
Dream was still in the prison, Dream would find him. Would continue his game, finish Tommy's story for good.  
Tommy panicked  
He didn't want to go back  
He didn't want to be left alone in prison and have nobody care or notice he was gone. Tubbo was busy with his family and Sam didn't even care enough to save him from his abuser. His Family...  
They had betrayed him, blown up the country, the nation he had died and gone through the painful and long process of respawning for  
He had gone against Wilbur, protected his home and the people he cared about and yet after everything even his family ruined the things he loved.  
Nobody wanted him back.  
-  
Bleary eyes opened wearily as unfamiliar spruce trees and a big cobblestone wall blocked his vision.  
What is this place?  
Tommy forced himself to stand, mind bleak as he touched his cheeks  
Black staining his fingers as he blinked his eyes  
But all in a moment  
Memories of suffering, betrayal, death all rushed to his head  
Everybody betrayed him  
Everyone hated him  
Why was it all so cold?  
Surely his life couldn't have been just sadness and pain. Right?  
Tommy found himself moving, following a path he himself didn't even remember, but it held familiarity to it  
Great buildings and monuments came into view across the horizon became visible as Tommy grew closer to a place he knew was full of bad reminders.  
He stood still, a harsh memory of him and…  
He wasn't sure who it was...  
A lanky man in a blue suit with brown curly hair stood next to him...  
What is this place called again?  
He knew it was a bad memory as he watched black tears drip on the dirt below his feet- Transparent?  
Tommy lifted a hand and held it out in front of him  
“I'm see through…?”  
He didn't even recognize his own voice, as it held an echo to it. Almost like his body wasn't quite sure if he should be here or in the nothingness in which he sat for..  
He wasn't sure how long.  
He knew bad people lived in this this place, recollections of betrayal plagued his head.  
Has anybody ever stayed loyal to him? It didn't seem like it from what his mind gave him.  
He felt fear grow in his chest as he walked closer to the buildings, walking past them all with no recognition of any of them.  
He stopped himself,  
A crater filling his view as he stared silently into it. He knew this place.  
Flashes of painful evocation filled his mind  
His eyes squeezing shut to block out the rampant thoughts that were making his sick as he sat down.  
Two memories stood out among the rest  
There was a boy in a black suit, standing up on a big stage with a man that had slicked back hair and horns curling around his ears and reaching his cheeks. There were a few others but Tommy couldn't remember much about them. He knew they hurt him, but nothing else.  
A big shape stood in front of the trapped boy on stage, fear plaguing his face as a crossbow was pointed towards him  
The man with the crossbow had tusks that poked past his bottom lip, pink ears sticking out past a bright gold crown and a matching red cape was wrapped around his back.  
The goat man yelled something,  
And the crossbow went off  
The pig man turned around, fear wrapping tightly around tommy as blood red eyes turned to the crowd and screams of pain and panic followed.  
He remembered holding the boy,  
As blood rushed through his fingers and the body despawned  
The other memory was confusing  
He felt anger but a lingering sadness followed along  
The familiar lanky man with the curly brown hair stood in a room, a man with blonde hair and prodigious black wings standing across from him  
But in a moment, Tommy watched as the sword slipped past the man's side and sunk into the other's chest.  
Tommy sat with his legs hanging off the side of the crater  
Why was he back here?  
Everybody had hurt him.  
His mind held no positive memories  
No laughter other than that of a nerve wracking smile as a fist was brought down on his skull.  
Why couldn't he remember anything happy?  
Anything good?  
Why had everybody hurt him so much?


End file.
